I’ve been single for a while now. I used to feel bad about how many years but as I’ve matured, I’m like Why Was I Ever?! In your singleness your able to really grow and learn about yourself without commentary or bias from someone that isn’t even your husband. Just imagine , all these years I could have had a couple of boyfriends that caused headache, heartache, and left me with baggage for the next guy. I’m more thankful now than I’ve ever been to be single. And on top of it, if you live by yourself … YOUR LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE. You can do what you want , when you want, adventure & explore without any restrictions or obligations to someone that might not be there next year. (Never pick a boyfriend over experiences ).
If you are recently single, welcome to the club. My greatest advice to all the single ladies is be confident in your single gal time. Don’t let anyone rush you into thinking that happiness, success or fulfillment doesn’t come until you have a significant other. Check out the book Boss Bride by Charreah K. Jackson. I’m currently reading it and it has been sooooo good so far! It covers how to have both love and success !
Between online dating apps to social media , dating in 2018 is so disposable. You can be on a date and be swiping when your date goes to the bathroom. If you don’t like just 1 thing about your date , you can get on an app right after. As someone that believes in the “old school” way of dating , like meeting a guy in real life and being courted and taking things slow… its very overwhelming. Although I have adapted to dating now, it has never set completely right with me. I have experienced it all. At one point I was on 3-4 apps at one time…. HOT MESS. Nothing came out of it but seeing the same guys on every freaking app. So lets do some math. If I see the same guy on 4 apps X he’s connecting with 10 or more women per app = over 50 women at any given time that he is trying to date. UHHHHH yeah crazy right ?! I have deleted and re downloaded apps I don’t how many times. Now I am at a point where I am more intentional and do keep one dating app just to put myself out there.
SCARY SIUTATIONSHIPS VS. REAL- RELATIONSHIPS
So if you don’t know what a situationship is it’s a situation acting or getting the benefit of a relationship. DON’T BE FOOLED LADIES. Situationships will start off like things could turn into something permanent and real but never does. If who your dating can’t answer where he sees himself with you a year from now , Sis … your in a situationship. You should never have to wonder where you stand with anyone. Also one rule that I love to live but often break and kick myself in the butt for doing so is : How it starts is how it ends. So, if things started with just sex, it will end just as that ! Remind yourself often of your worth. If you know you want something REAL, then there has to be more than physical attraction. Write a list of all the qualities you have to offer and a list of the qualities your future man should have to complement yours. Also carry yourself as the girlfriend and soon to be wife that you want to be NOW so that you can gravitate a man that is looking for those qualities.
Looking forward to digging a little deeper into this conversation on Instagram Live very soon ! If your not following my Instagram you should be : sunflowerinthemiddle
XO, A Fellow Sunflower J.
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